One of my biggest fears that would bring me to tears 10 years ago when we were separating was missing out on the precious and important moments of my kids lives. I was so sad to know they may be at their dad’s house when they came home from school with their amazing report card or crying because another kid was mean to them. I should be there, I am their mom. As I sit at my daughter’s soccer game today while her dad is coaching her brother’s, I think about two things.
#1: non-divorced families experience the same thing. Both parents can’t be at two soccer games at once. A working mom who has a late meeting, might not make the baseball game at 4:15 in a non-divorced family. The difference though is when everyone is in one home, the parents share what the other missed.
#2: I was not going to miss my kids’ moments. Even if it was one I couldn’t be at or happened while with their dad. So their dad and I have made a very intentional effort to communicate about the kids CONSTANTLY. As Caroline plays in her first game with a new travel soccer team, I’m texting her dad with updates. As he would do for me. It’s second nature now. I don’t even think about it.
We have chosen texting as our primary means of keeping in touch daily on the kids. The older they get the more we text! We started this before we met our now husband & fiancee (who are so supportive). That’s a whole other blog post on how our communication was a condition of any future relationship!
It takes work, time and consistency. But if your goal is to not miss the moments, work to make it happen as best you and their dad can!
Stay strong mamas!